Last week I made one small step. It was an act of obedience to God. Since then, it feels like I’ve experienced a lifetime of freedom. I wish I’d done it much sooner. Here’s the back story.
I had been running low on fumes for a long while, trying to be every woman. I believed I could be a good wife and mom, a great teacher to my boys and an established writer. Surely, I can do it all. This is the message I receive at every turn. Women are strong. We can multitask. We can do anything and everything we set our minds to.
Well, you know what? This woman can’t do it all. I don’t have it in me to be every woman. Yes, I can be a wife, a mom, a homeschool teacher, and a writer. But I can’t do it all adequately. I can’t give my best or my all to each role. It’s not womanly or humanly possible. I’ve tried my hardest for a very long time. How foolish of me to think I can pull it off!
After working twenty plus months to develop my writing while homeschooling my sons and making feeble efforts to work on my marriage, I came to the end of my weary self. I was just plain tired. Tired of exhausting efforts towards many things without making real progress at anything. My inadvertent path to be every woman led to failure. I couldn’t even succeed at being one of those women :(.
The upside of failure is, you come to know yourself better. God uses your flops to grow you up. And when you have Him in your life, coming to the end of yourself is a good thing because you know he’ll be there, waiting to catch you. For God is merciful. He’ll steer you in the right direction. You need only take one small step and he’ll show you what to do.
So I took one small step. I knew it was time to make some trade-offs. I didn’t want to be every woman any longer. I couldn’t. My mind and body was done. It was at this critical juncture that I asked God to help me eliminate the non-essentials. I was ready to grow up.
Now growing up means you have to forego your way of doing things. For me, this means removing things that were hindering my personal and spiritual growth because I am not mature enough to manage them in this season. Of course I dragged out the decision and resisted God’s nudging. But eventually, I listened to him and eliminated a couple things from my schedule (so far):
- Connection to an on-line writing community
- A Facebook writing page
I thought these two things were beneficial because they would contribute to my writing passion and purpose from God. But they have been a time killer, a joy breaker, and a peace robber for me because I still have plenty of growing up to do. I have allowed it to consume me and deplete my time. Since I’ve taken this one small step, I have been set free in too many ways to share in this writing.
Who knew taking one small step could lead to a lifetime of freedom? Literally. Freedom from the busyness of building and writing so I can focus on what truly matters; quality and quantity time with Jesus and my family. I have been neglecting both for way too long. And also freedom from past wounds that has prevented me from living true to the person God created in me. You see, I’ve been hiding my real design by making decisions from a place of insecurity because of those unattended wounds.
This growing up business is incredibly freeing! I’ve been enjoying relaxed time with my guys and making their bellies happy with real meals instead of rushing to throw anything together last minute. How I wish I had taken this one small step sooner! It’s so amazing, I must share the goods with you!
It’s simple, yet so profound. God wants to free you from busyness so he can show you why you’ve made and continue to make the choices you do in life. He wants you to understand the deeper reasons for your daily pursuits. God wants to set you free so you can live a life true to the person he created in you (we’ll dig deeper into these issues next time).
Your freedom begins with one small step of obedience. But be on guard. Obedience always feel awkward and at odds with what you know. It feels unsettling and risky. You feel out of control. You’re likely to believe you are a quitter, so you’ll resist obeying at first. But be persistent! Be courageous! Take that one small step!
Don’t think of your one small step as giving up on your goals or dreams. Because giving in to God is not giving up! You’re just being rerouted to a better way. God redirects you for your good. He is loving towards you. So don’t be afraid dear ones. Obey God in what he is showing you and you’ll discover a lifetime of freedom! I guarantee you’ll wish you had done it much sooner!