I never thought it would happen to me. I was careful about not having guy friends because I had witnessed my share of platonic relationships turning into unintentional affairs. I vowed not to fall into the same trap.
Then it happened. I was attracted to another man.
I remember the first time our eyes met over a mere thirty seconds. My boys were with me in the crowded room. He had me with his southern drawl and hospitality. His hello came with a lingering gaze to let me know of his interest in me. I strutted past him, feeling good about my 40 something self.
And that’s how my emotional fling began. In the beginning, we had chance meetings. As time went on, our rendezvous became more frequent. Our conversations were brief, cordial and always in public. Yet, there was an undeniable attraction between us. He didn’t inquire about my marital status and I didn’t volunteer any information.
At the time, my family and I were settling into our new home and community. My husband poured himself into his new job while I busied myself with our boys and work at the house. We were focused on our individual work. Inadvertently, we turned into roommates who shared the same space but lived separate lives. Scott and I were absent from each other. We worked hard to build our home and family, but neglected our marriage.
I’ve heard it said that absence makes the heart fonder. But for me, absence made my heart wander. The more time Scott and I spent apart, the further I drifted from him and our marriage. My heart did not grow fonder towards my husband. My heart wandered towards another man.
I became the woman God speaks of in Proverbs chapter 7. The brash and rebellious woman who is never content to stay at home. I frequented temptation’s doorway and was lured into sin. I enticed a single man onto a wayward path.
To be clear, we never acted on our desires. The physical affair didn’t take place. But the emotional affair was real. At least for me. I was duped by my intense feelings for someone I hardly knew. Absence from my husband caused my heart to wander and I became emotionally attached to a stranger.
It would take an act of God’s mercy to bring me back from my wandering.